Officiating At A Wedding

No one has ever asked me to officiate at a wedding.

I’m not surprised.

I could, I think.

I have a card somewhere that identifies me as a Minister of the Church of the Eternal Now, or some such bullshit. A friend sent away for it years ago because I was teaching classes on Meditation and he thought it would be amusing.

I was amused.

I don’t think it has an expiration date. But even if it does, a new one could not be that hard to obtain.

In any case, there are enough loopholes out there I COULD officiate at a wedding if anyone asked. And if they asked, here is what I would say:

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the love of (insert names of doe eyed innocents here). They stand before us today because they have decided that they adore each other and have, subsequently, made up reasons why.

Been there, done that.

Much of the Sacred Tone given to the Wedding Event is due to the fact that we all agree to shun reality for a moment and pretend, in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, that this decision to unite will last………forever. The odds are heavily against it.

National divorce rates are usually reported to be in the 50% range. And that’s just for first marriages. In fairness, there is a great deal of controversy regarding this percentage due to a number of mitigating factors and the surprising lack of specific data. But let’s bring it home.  How many of you here today have been divorced or know someone who has??

I rest my case.

And yet, here we are, pretending that this one will last forever. And therefore it is a sacred, serious, meaningful, awesome experience. 

And you know what?  

It is!

But that has nothing to do with how long it will last.

I think the two people in front of me would agree that at this very moment, and this one, and this one, they love each other sincerely, deeply, and passionately.  I’m sure you will agree, that warrants a celebration!  Because how many of us can say that’s how we feel about anything or anyone? And frankly, if there is someone or something in your life about which you DO feel that way, you damn well ought to be celebrating it as well!

But honestly, what does that have to do with tomorrow?

Or the next day?

Who the hell knows what will happen in the future?

I’ll tell you.

No one.

Listen to me, No One!!

Planes fly into buildings. People change. Lighting strikes where it has never stuck before. Whatever.  Depending on the future is the ultimate exercise in futility.

But Now………We can all live right Now!

And right Now, these two people want to spend their lives together. They love each other. They adore each other. They like being together. It makes them happy. It makes them better people.  And every day, from now on, they get to decide if they still feel that way. And if they do, they should damn well celebrate it that day as well.

And if one day, they decide otherwise, then that takes nothing away from right Now!

Because as god is my witness, I swear this to you:

Just because a relationship doesn’t last forever

Does not mean it was not a success.

I’ve heard it said that a good marriage is a race between total knowledge of each other and death. If death wins, it was a good marriage. Perhaps…..

As I have grown older, I have come to realize it is impossible to know everything about anyone (including ourselves).  At least those worth knowing.  Because not only are they too complex to ever know, they also have the added “plus” of constantly changing.  And that can be very exciting.  And yes, even occasionally fatal to a relationship.

That two complex, interesting, emotional people will change along lovingly intertwined paths over years and decades is far from guaranteed.  Of course it happens.  But not always.  

But what is the alternative?

Bond with someone who will say the same things, do the same things, eat the same things, make love the same way, feel the same things, go the same places, tell the same jokes, watch the same TV shows, vote the same way, greet you the same way, kiss you the same way, like the same people, work the same job, and brush their teeth the same way, forever and ever and ever and ever and ever?

That’s one approach.  And it works for some people.

Now don’t get me wrong. This marriage before you may well last forever. The marriage you are in at this very moment may well last forever too. But our Joy and our Celebration is not predicated on that.

Rather than banking on the future,

Let us all celebrate bonding forever……..right Now.

Let us all celebrate our eternal love……..right Now.

Doesn’t that take some of the pressure off?  Doesn’t that allow a little room for error? Doesn’t that make Now….and Now…….and Now a great time to celebrate?

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the love of (insert names of newly enlightened Beings here) right Now!